


Confessions

by Pluttskutt



Series: FH Flatmates AU [11]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, damn it garrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10066598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluttskutt/pseuds/Pluttskutt
Summary: Fenris is feeling a bit small and unsafe but he'll get better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really bad at ratings so if I need to up it tell me but nothing has to be graphic so it isn't because I don't find that important so I think I'm doing the rating right but I just don't know.  
> Thank you for the amazing support, the nice comments and the kudos :>

Laying in bed watching a favourite tv-series was exactly what Garrett needed. Fenris declined the invite as Isabela asked him to join her at a club. They barely spent a day together before she called, and Fenris was eager to mend their friendship. Isabela hadn’t been angry but it was impossible to convince Fenris of that.

Because he was anxious about their friendship it was good Isabela contacted him so soon. From what he understood it’d just be her and Fenris. Varric sent a text he’d come to Amell’s Bakery for a surprise visit soon, but nothing about joining Fenris and Isabela.

“You okay there buddy?” he nudged Cooper’s butt with his foot. Cooper didn’t react to the touch which meant he was ready to sleep. They’d see the episode, take a quick walk, and go to bed.

A loud vibration called for their attention. They both lifted their heads up. Cooper yawned and stretched his legs out. Garrett knew one thing he owned vibrated that loud. His phone’s silent mode with vibration. Great. Someone tried to reach him but was it worth it to get up and see who?

“Nah,” he shook his head and leant back again. Stuck his hand in the chips bag, and grabbed a handful. The vibration stopped eventually. Whoever wanted something in the middle of the night wasn’t anyone he wanted to talk with.

Cooper looked at him. He ignored the big eyes and looked at the TV. A loud vibration interrupted him. Again. Since they called twice it had to be important. It’d better be.

“Just what I wanted,” he muttered and tossed his feet over the edge of the bed. The chips bag fell down when he stood up. He looked at it, imagined what could have been. Walked out of the room and pretended not to hear Cooper jump down from the bed. He’d devour the bag when he got to it.

It rested on his nightstand while charging. The violent vibration wouldn’t stop so it’d been a mistake to put it there.

“Remember to turn off vibration next time,” the screen flashed Isabela as the phone vibrated to the edge, “Hello,” he answered. Pulled the charger out so he’d stop schlumping.

“Hi!” she sounded happy so nothing too horrible could have happened, “you know the ravishing handsome elf you live with?” he groaned.

“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him,” just what he needed, for Isabela to sleep with another one of his friends. Like their past conversations about that hadn’t been awkward enough.

“Jealous?” she laughed, “he’s wasted, we’re outside your door- you know he fell out of the train? Sssh, I’m telling Garrett how graceful you are,” he removed the phone from his ear. It was quiet in the stairwell, so by door, she meant the street door. Did Fenris forget the code, or did he drop his keys?

“Is he okay?” he asked and walked out to the hallway, “you’re outside? Here? Where I am?” best to be sure before he headed out. She could be talking about a completely different door. She didn’t sound drunk enough for that though.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, waiting for you, my knight in sweatpants,” he sighed and put his shoes on, “Fenris, don’t walk away, Garrett is coming, oh now I got your attention?” she laughed. He grabbed his keys and opened his front door. He heard her voice from downstairs, outside the gate door.

“I’m hanging up,” he closed the door and headed down the stairs. She waited with Fenris outside. When he opened the door she whispered something to Fenris, who snickered.

“Having fun?” Garrett looked him over. He was unharmed, but drunk if Isabela spoke the truth.

“He can’t walk,” she laughed, “I have to run, have fun,” she turned around and jogged away. Garrett reached out his hand to Fenris who looked at it a moment. He tilted his head slightly to left. Walked over and grabbed it. His fingers were cold.

“What did you drink?” he asked and gently pushed him inside. Fenris giggled, and he didn’t want an answer.

“I don’t remember,” he put a foot on the first stair step. Garrett put a hand on his back when he tilted backwards.

“Okay, new plan, give me your arm,” he grabbed Fenris’ arm and put it around his neck, “one step at the time,” he wrapped an arm around Fenris’ waist. Unless his memory completely failed him that was the way Carver and Bethany would help him walk when he drank too much.

“I’m hungry,” Fenris whined when they walked up, “are you angry because I’m drunk?” Garrett shook his head.

“No, but lower your voice, we don’t want to disturb the neighbours,” he smiled. Fenris looked at him, and his eyes widened. He nodded and looked down at the floor again. Garrett hoped he didn’t take it as a complaint but he really didn’t want the neighbours to report him for being loud in the middle of the night.

No one opened their door to hush them on their way up so hopefully, they were in the green. When they stood outside their door, Fenris leant on him for support. Garrett guessed the stairs tired him out.

“Here we go,” he opened the door. Cooper wagged his tail when they walked inside, with only little complications. Fenris tripped over the doorstep but Garrett caught him. Fenris didn’t reek alcohol, but his hair stank cigarette. Garrett wondered how, and why.

“Sorry,” Fenris apologised, and Garrett let him go to close the door behind him.

“It’s fine,” he locked the door and put his keys in the key bowl, “do you need help?” he looked at Fenris. Who stared at his shoes. Black combat boots bought for his own money. A bit difficult to remove when intoxicated it seemed.

He said nothing. Reached his arms out to untie them. Toppled forward. Garrett’s eyes widened and he reached a hand out to catch him. Fenris straightened up before he fell. Silently (and a bit awkwardly) he sat down on the floor.

“Do you want anything?” Garrett asked and observed him. He focused on his laces and ignored the question. He struggled to get the shoe off, and once he did he smiled in triumph. Garrett covered his mouth with one hand and wrapped the other around his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Fenris apologised when he untied the other shoe. Cooper walked over and sniffed his fingers. He raised a hand and patted his face. Garrett scratched his beard, it needed a trim.

“Why are you sorry?” he thought it was because Fenris was drunk and a bit (just slightly) unbalanced, but maybe it was something else? It could be he was still sorry for ruining the dynamic in their friend group, even though Garrett said he hadn’t.

Fenris looked at him. A short moment they had eye contact. His eyebrows knitted and he turned his head to the side. Garrett raised his eyebrows and waited. If he gave Fenris the time he needed, he’d say what bothered him. Collecting thoughts to find words was difficult so Garrett wouldn’t rush him.

“I like you,” Fenris admitted to the floor. Garrett crossed his arms over his chest loosely. Was it difficult for Fenris to say?

“I like you too,” which should be obvious. He didn’t spend time with people he didn’t like. Which reminded him that he should contact Anders. Eventually. It was a task for future Garrett, who would hate past Garrett for putting it on him.

“No, you don’t,” Fenris sighed, “I want to be your friend,” he whispered. Garrett blinked because he didn’t know what to say. They were friends.

“You are,” he said and looked at the floor. Cooper sat down next to Fenris, so he followed the example and sat down on the floor. Sweatpants were easier to move around in than jeans thankfully.

“You’re… I enjoy our friendship,” Garrett covered his mouth with his hand so his smile wouldn’t be obvious.

“I enjoy our friendship too, you’re important to me,” he was honest. Fenris didn’t make it awkward. They’d known each other for months and he still didn’t believe Garrett cared about him?

“You don’t mind?” Fenris turned his head to glance at him. Garrett narrowed his eyes and looked away. Didn’t mind what? Had he and Isabela talked about something he thought Garrett knew about?

“Mind what?” he wondered and looked at Fenris. Raised an eyebrow when Fenris stayed quiet.

“I like you,” Fenris repeated and emphasised the word, “please do not make me use your word,” Garrett’s eyebrow slowly dropped. His face relaxed to a neutral expression. It didn’t count. Like last time, he was under the influence of alcohol. Garrett wouldn’t ignore what he said but this time he wouldn’t bring it up himself.

“I’m wrong,” Fenris rubbed his eyes, “I’m sorry, I know I’m wrong,” he whispered. Cooper put his nose in his hands.

“What do you mean…. you’re wrong?” Garrett asked. They talked about relationships the day after the kiss incident. He said it wasn’t for him.

“I’m not wanted, I’m sorry,” he apologised because of how he felt. He shouldn’t feel like he had to apologise for his feelings. They weren’t wrong, but Garrett didn’t know how to handle his confession. He was drunk. Isabela said he was. He tripped up the stairs!

“Nothing is wrong with you,” he sighed, “you’ve been drinking, so what you’re saying now is… it’s unreliable and…” he brushed a hand through his hair. Fenris looked at him with a sad frown.

“I’m sorry I like you after what you said about relationships,” Fenris looked down at the floor, “I won’t mention it again,” he whispered. Garrett’s brow furrowed. Romance and relationships weren’t his thing, or something along those lines was what he said. True but also… complicated.

It’d been years since his last serious relationship and the flings he had weren’t really worth remembering. Few as they were they reminded him of when he hit rock bottom and brought a picking axe.

“Are you okay?” a stupid question, he knew. He couldn’t be in a relationship with Fenris. He’d act in a way he thought Garrett expected. If he regretted his confession he wouldn’t leave because he had nowhere to go.

“I’m sorry,” Fenris whispered.

“It’s okay,” Garrett put a hand on his shoulder, “you should go to bed, it’s late,” and he was drunk. Not a loud drunk though, thankfully.

“Okay,” Fenris looked up at him. He tilted his head slightly to the left. Maybe he couldn’t stand up on his own?

“Do you need help?” he shook his head and looked away, “do you want to talk about your feelings for me?” Garrett forced the question out in the politest tone he could muster. Fenris looked at him wide eyed.

“No, no, no! I know I’m wrong, I don’t need you to say so,” he looked down at the floor. Again, Garrett wondered what he meant with wrong. Fenris hadn’t expressed a negative opinion on same-sex couples, so it couldn’t be that. Garrett inhaled slowly and smiled as he found it easier to make his voice softer if he did.

“Why are you wrong?” he asked and hoped Fenris would give a better answer this time. Softly he rubbed Fenris’ shoulder with his thumb. He hadn’t gone stiff at the touch yet.

“I’m only good for sex, in whatever scenario you can imagine, but I don’t want you to use me like that, so wanting more is selfish,” Garrett’s smile dropped, “it isn’t-” he grabbed Fenris’ other shoulder and pulled him close. A second later he realised an embrace was completely wrong after what Fenris just told him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologised and pushed Fenris away, “I shouldn’t have- I’m sorry,” Fenris looked at him wide eyed. He definitely hadn’t expected that. Stupid Garrett.

“Why did you do that?” Fenris asked, and Garrett looked away. They didn’t talk much about their past but he remembered what Fenris said, even if it wasn’t a lot. So when he said he wasn’t good for anything but sex it wasn’t difficult to put that piece of his past together with what he said about Danarius.

“You think you’re not good for anything but sex and I… I wanted to hug you,” he felt sorry for Fenris but saying that wouldn’t help, “I care about you a lot and hearing that someone hurt you makes me sad, and it made me want to hold you,” there. Good words. Isabela would be proud.

“I kiss you, and you push me away,” Fenris quirked an eyebrow and stared at his hands, “you hug me, and you push me away,” he looked up at Garrett. Who had no good answer to that question. If it was a question? Sounded more like a confused statement.

“I’m good at pushing people away,” Garrett snorted, “sorry that’s… do you really think you’re not good for anything else but sex?” he asked. Fenris looked away. He picked at his fingernails and remained silent. An answer in itself.

“It makes up for being a burden, which is why I thought you would want it when I moved in,” Fenris voice was steady, “I thought if I offered myself before you demanded, maybe you’d be… maybe it’d hurt less,” he didn’t look up. Was he ashamed for thinking that? For him it was survival.

“Why would you stay if you thought I’d rape you?” he said it out loud. The word Fenris seemed to avoid. It could also be the less good option that he didn’t understand the concept of it.

“I didn’t think you would,” Fenris looked at him, “I didn’t plan to offer myself, but I remembered what my master wanted when he’d been out and I thought you wanted it too,” his eyes widened at his own confession. His lips formed a thin line as he forced his teeth together to shut up.

“Danarius was your master?” a short nod, “I didn’t think I could hate him more,” he muttered. The hatred he felt for that man couldn’t grow bigger, but when he thought about how Danarius treated Fenris it blew up. Just like that. He hated that man. Not as much as Fenris must. He ran away, and it hadn’t been easy.

“Why do you hate him?” Fenris wondered. He looked down so their eyes wouldn’t meet, but he kept his gaze on Garrett.

“Because he treated you like an object, no one has the right to put their hands on anybody without their consent,” he snapped, “friends, strangers, partners, or family, no one has the right to touch anybody if they don’t want it,” it felt more important now than ever that Fenris became independent. If Varric didn’t offer help when they met he’d summon a friend from the other side.

“Thank you,” Fenris smiled, “I’m grateful to be your friend,” he raised a hand and wiped his left eye. Oh no, was Garrett’s immediate thought.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Anders, that must have been horrifying if you’re used to being…” a violent shock went through Fenris’ body. He opened his mouth to force a deep breath and caused another violent shock.

“You’re having another panic attack, okay, Cooper why aren’t you helping?” he looked at his hound who was supposed to be trained for exactly that. Yet, he did nothing to help the situation.

“I-” another shock went through Fenris’ body when he tried to speak. He covered his face with his hands. Inhaled sharply, which worsened the shocks. Garrett wasn’t sure he could help, but he’d try.

“Okay, just tell me if I do anything wrong,” he reached out his arms and pulled Fenris close to him again. This time gently, as he didn’t want to make it worse. Fenris shock again but he didn’t pull away. When Garrett held him close, he leant his head on his chest. A violent shock went through his body when he tried to breathe.

“It’s okay,” he rubbed Fenris’ back carefully. The response to his soothing was muffled wailing. So he was quiet and hoped he helped. They sat on the floor until Fenris’ breathing became normal and he felt heavy in Garrett’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Fenris is feeling a bit small and unsafe but he'll get better. Working towards his personality bit by bit is a fun challenge. That should have been the summary lmao... Thank you for reading! Don't forget to comment and/or kudos I appreciate it a bunch and it makes me so happy to read and reply to your comments! <3


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